It’s so hard to believe that I’m 6 months out from the Pacific Crest Trail. I can’t even put into words most days what I’m feeling without using the same lines:
“super excited/jazzed/scared/terrified/insert-random-feeling-adjective here”
OR
“Yeah….it’s going to be great”
OR
“Yeah…..I’m out every morning. No I’m not crazy, and no I don’t camp because I’m homeless” (that has seriously been asked!)
My reasoning behind walking 4 hours per day is simple….if i can make 12 miles per day on the schedule i have NOW, then when my hiking days are 8-10 hours in length on the PCT, I should have NO problem finishing in my timeframe and making 20 miles per day.
The truth is, I’m overwhelmed.
I’m scared I won’t reach my monetary goal in time. To work this hard and have my effort come down to dollars and cents is devastating. To put a dollar value on a dream seems unfair, but it is reality. I’m about $6,000 short. the funds that came in when i first started the push went to help purchasing my dehydrator, pack, groceries for dehydrating, my thru-hiking course and gear purchase. $6,000 is what i’d like in my account to ensure that my focus is putting one foot in front of the other, and not where my next meal will come from when I’m thousands of miles from home.
i’m overwhelmed by how much support I get daily. These walks have turned into way much more than i ever thought they’d be. I’ve met new friends, reconnected with old friends and have a support network of people I don’t even know! Little by little though, I find I wave and smile more every morning between 6:30-8 than I don’t. What an incredible feeling…complete strangers finding so much inspiration in my routine that they take time out of their day to say ‘way to go’, honk or even wave. thank you. Being up that early during all types of weather is not fun sometimes, but it’s people like you that take the time to wave that makes the daily grind more worth it.
I’m also still adjusting to my new size. that in itself has been the biggest hurdle, coming to terms with the new ‘me’. i started my weight loss journey in January 2014 at 255lbs (according to my doctor)….I’m 115lbs. I’ve lost 140lbs. People I’ve known for years don’t recognize me, most days I don’t recognize myself. I can’t say i blame them. when I started to lose weight, I did it because i hit the ‘wall’…the point where you are fed up enough to make a change no matter how you do it. My weight loss was that for me. I hated myself and i knew in order to bring my best self forward I needed to find her. These days, i receive a lot of attention, some of it inappropriate but mostly people just wanting to know what i’ve done. If you’ve seen me pounding the pavement morning, noon and afternoon you know how I did it. I’ve been relentless, but because of that, i find I need more discipline to NOT move then i need to actually move. Between that, clean eating and tracking steps and distance daily, step by step, little by little, i reached my goal-then i surpassed it.
I hope this discipline and drive follows me from california all the way to Canada.
it’s been an amazing, incredible and uplifting journey to say the least. For those that are there for me, you have no idea what that support means. As a supporter myself, it’s hard to ask for help, and as a bit of an introvert, when I do ask for help, i can’t always word what it is I need help with. This Thanksgiving i was grateful for all of YOU. Those waves, honks, smiles and questions are exactly what I need to move forward!
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